you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
