thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
