she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
