Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
