My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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