Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
