I want you more than these girls want KFC
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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