He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
