honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
