Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
try to milk me bitch
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