Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Drunk is not a location!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize