I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
