Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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