i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
