On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
