Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
