That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
