I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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