Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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