Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
