i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
