Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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