On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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