its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
