i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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