just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
