hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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