I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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