he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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