is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
