Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
