can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
