you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
These tits shall not be calmed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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