Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize