she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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