in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
