I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
