Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
