Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
