i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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