redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
