Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
