Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
