after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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