whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
