Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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