Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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