So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
