Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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