You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
