at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
