Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
